Originally published in the 5-PATH Journal of Hypnosis
There’s something fascinating I’ve noticed during Forgiveness of Self (FOS), work - a recurring pattern that can completely shift how clients see themselves. When you catch it, it’s like striking gold because it turns moments of guilt into powerful proof of your client’s integrity.
Let me share an example that illustrates this beautifully.
Imagine a client named Jim - coming in feeling disconnected from his usual outgoing, confident self. During the course of hypnosis we uncovered experiences he felt guilty about. He felt bad about a time his older cousin got angry with him and moments when he spoke up in school, among other things.
But here’s where it got interesting. While in hypnosis, I invited him to look at these memories from a different perspective. What emerged changed everything.
In every single case where he felt this guilt, he had actually been standing up for himself or what he believed in.
The discomfort didn’t come from doing something wrong - it came from doing something right that wasn’t welcomed by the authority figures around him. He was “going against the grain” by standing in his truth, and that’s never comfortable in the moment.
When clients bring up guilt - especially involving authority figures - listen carefully. Often, what they perceive as wrongdoing was actually an early display of their strength and integrity.
This shift in perspective is incredibly powerful. Throughout history, those who stand up for truth often face resistance. It’s not easy to be the one who speaks up or chooses a different path.
When clients recognize that their “guilt” was actually an indicator of their courage, it reframes their entire self-concept.
For Jim, the realization that he wasn’t being “bad” but rather brave enough to stand for what he believed in was profound. His confidence came flooding back. He reconnected with the part of himself that had always sought truth - even when it was difficult. It surprised him how validating it was to notice how he'd always been this way - a truth seeker.
The next time you’re guiding a client through self forgiveness work, pay close attention to guilt around “going against” what others wanted.
You’ll be amazed at how often these moments of supposed “mistakes” reveal a deeper strength. When clients see this, it transforms how they feel about themselves.
Remember, FOS isn’t just about self-forgiveness - it’s about helping clients recognize their innate wisdom and courage. Sometimes, that wisdom led them to choices that upset others. That doesn’t make it wrong; in fact, it often makes it even more right.
The next time you hear guilt about standing up, speaking out, or choosing differently, lean in. That’s your cue. A powerful reframe might be waiting - one that can help your client reclaim their confidence and sense of self.
And isn’t that the heart of our work? Helping clients rediscover who they truly are - and always have been - even in the moments they’ve felt guilty about for years.
What an honor to do this type of work with clients, helping them do things they've never been successful doing before.
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