Content from “Can You Be A Hypnotist?” by Erika Flint
Find something in a negative situation to love - so that you can connect. Find something in a “bad” behavior to love so that you can connect, starting with yourself. There is always a good reason to continue with a bad behavior, it just may not be a good enough reason.
No matter what you are feeling, love is always the answer. If you’re frustrated by a situation at your current job, love is the answer.
Hurt people, hurt people.
When others are hurting, they behave badly out of fear and anxiety, and anger, and other negative feelings, and it comes to bear on us and our lives.
Love them anyway.
Every single day, make it your mission to not only love when it is easy, but love when it is hard.
It’s easy to love something that we already perceive as being good. It’s easy to love a loving and caring person.
I want you to love when it is hard.
Find a way to love people who are suffering, who behave badly, and who aren’t nice. Find a way to love them, starting with loving yourself.
By challenging yourself to love when it is hard, you increase your capacity for love, which positively connects you to every area of your life, including self-care and your work as a hypnotist.
Heather was a student in my hypnosis certification training course. She asked how she could possibly love her sister who had willfully and purposefully bullied her as a child, then manipulated her and caused significant stress in her life as an adult.
“It’s always been this way. We just butt heads. She has to be right, and everyone, not just me, is always wrong.”
I asked Heather if she wanted to be rid of that feeling she had toward her sister, or if she’d rather keep it?
“I want to be rid of it, but I’ve already tried that dozens of Times.”
I helped Heather enter into hypnosis with an affect-based hypnosis induction.
Once there, I asked her to imagine her relationship with her sister, and what it felt like.
“We’re in constant conflict, it’s like two rams constantly butting heads, over and over.”
“And how do you want it to be instead? What is that like?”
“I don’t even want to butt heads anymore, about anything. I don’t even want to play this game! I want to be free. I want to be like the wind, I can go wherever I want, and my sister can fight with someone else if she wants.”
“Good,” I reply. “Imagine that, imagine you’re no longer the ram. What’s happening now?”
Laughing, Heather said, “My sister isn’t the ram either, it was just a front. She’s scared, she’s putting up a show. She turned into a bird, and she’s sailing on the wind, I’m lifting her up and she’s gliding and swooping. We’re doing it together.”
After finishing up work with Heather on this issue, she reported that during the hypnosis her sister had texted her saying, “Hey, what are you up to?”
And Heather was dumbfounded. “My sister never texts me to check in. Ever.”
Their relationship hasn’t resolved itself entirely, but it has improved.
Challenge yourself to love when it is hard, and watch the magic unfold.
When there is nothing to resist against (meaning you offer only love – not resistance), the other party has nothing to push against. And they have to change course.
