Why "Be Excellent" is Better Advice Than "Be Perfect" for Your Perfectionist Clients

A practitioner's guide to addressing perfectionism in your hypnosis practice

There's a moment that happens in almost every hypnosis practice.  A client sits across from you and says, with a mixture of pride and pain, "I'm just a perfectionist."

They say it like it's an identity, or a badge of honor (that also happens to be destroying them).

And here's where a lot of practitioners nod sympathetically and move on.

Don't.

Perfectionism isn't a personality trait to work around. It's a very important subconscious issue that deserves direct transformation. And I'm going to show you exactly how to address it, with a reframe so clean and a technique so practical that your clients will feel the relief immediately.

The Problem With Perfectionism

Let me be direct: perfectionism is anxiety cleverly disguised in a productivity costume.

When clients tell you they're perfectionists, what they're really saying is:

• "I'm terrified of making mistakes."
• "My worth is conditional on flawless performance."
• "I can never rest because nothing is ever good enough."

And here's what makes it so insidious: they think it's serving them. They believe their perfectionism is why they're successful, why they get things done, why people can count on them.

So when you suggest they let go of it, they panic. "But who will I be without my (impossibly high) standards?"

The Reframe: Perfection vs. Excellence

This is where the magic happens. You're going to give them something better than perfectionism to reach for.

Here's the speech I give every single time perfectionism shows up in my practice:

"I love that you care so deeply about doing things right. That tells me you're someone who shows up with integrity and commitment. But I need to tell you something important:

A state of perfection is unnatural. Look at Mother Nature - everything is constantly adapting, changing, evolving. Our human genome is adapting. Ecosystems are shifting. Even your own body is different today than it was yesterday.

If we think about something 'perfect,' it's really just a snapshot in time. And it's completely unrealistic to maintain.

So here's what I'm inviting you to do instead: Trade perfectionism for excellence.

Excellence means doing everything with care, skill, and integrity - without the anxiety. Excellence is rational. It's achievable. It's sustainable.

Perfectionism will drive you crazy. Excellence will drive you forward.

Is that a trade you're willing to make?"

Every single client says yes.

Because you're not asking them to lower their standards. You're offering them an upgrade - a way to maintain their integrity without the suffering.

Why This Reframe Works

1. You validate their values. ("I love that you care so deeply.")
2. You expose the irrationality. ("Perfection is unnatural.")
3. You offer something better. ("Excellence is rational and achievable.")
4. You make it their choice. ("Is that a trade you're willing to make?")

Your client won't feel criticized. They'll feel seen and offered a way forward.

The Technique: Circle of Excellence

Once you've made the reframe, you need to anchor it. This is where the NLP Circle of Excellence becomes your best friend.

Here's how it works:

Step 1: Create the Circle

Have your client close their eyes and imagine a circle on the ground in front of them: their "Circle of Excellence."

Ask them: "What color represents excellence to you? What shape?"

Let them design it. This makes it theirs.

Step 2: Fill It With Evidence

Guide them to recall three specific times in their life when they felt excellent - not perfect, but genuinely proud of themselves.

For each memory:

• Have them fully re-experience it. (What did they see? Feel? Hear?)
• Have them step into the circle while feeling that excellence.
• Anchor it with a physical gesture (rubbing thumb and forefinger together).
• Step back out.

Step 3: Install the Pattern

After they've added three experiences, have them step into the circle one final time - just using the physical anchor (rubbing fingers).

The confidence floods back.

Now they have a portable tool. Anytime they need to access that state, they rub their fingers together (the anchor), and their confidence about acting with excellence can flood back automatically as if they're stepping back into the Circle of Excellence.

What It Can Look Like in Practice

Client: “I lose sleep replaying every conversation with my kids - I'm constantly wondering if I said the wrong thing, or if I should’ve handled it better.”

You: “It sounds like you’re holding yourself to an impossible standard of being the perfect parent, as if that one mistake could undo everything good you’ve done raising your kids.

But you know they don’t need a perfect parent - they need an excellent one, who loves them and keeps showing up with care, skill, and integrity. And you know what that excellence feels like.  Rubbing your thumb and forefinger, let’s step into your Circle of Excellence right now.

Remember that moment you comforted them when they were scared? That calm, caring part of you - that’s excellence. That’s who they already deeply trust.”

Once you've guided your client through the full Circle of Excellence technique using three specific memories and experiences, you help them anchor that feeling of excellence so they can access that resourceful state anytime they need it. 

From there, help them practice activating it, and they begin weaving that state into real-life situations.

That's the power of this transformation. It's not just a conceptual mindset shift. You're giving them a meaningful somatic experience they can return to again and again.

When to Use This

Address perfectionism whenever you hear:

• "I'm just a perfectionist."
• "I can't rest until it's perfect."
• "I keep going over it again and again."
• "Nothing I do is ever good enough."
• "I'm afraid to try because I might not do it well enough."

Don't let it slide. It's a subconscious issue, not a personality quirk.

The Bigger Pattern

Here's what I want you to understand: Your role as a hypnotist isn't just to help clients relax or access trance states.

Your role is to catch the irrational beliefs that are running their lives and guide them to something better.

Perfectionism is one of the most common, and most damaging of these beliefs. And now you have a reframe and a technique that work together beautifully.

Use them. Your clients will thank you.

Want to go deeper? The Circle of Excellence technique can be adapted for confidence, courage, calm - any resourceful state your client needs to access. The key is helping them realize they already have evidence of these states. They just need a way to activate them on demand.

That's the work we get to do as professional hypnotists.  

Erika Flint is a board-certified hypnotist, award-winning master hypnosis instructor, author, and founder of Cascade Hypnosis Training. She specializes in teaching practitioners how to build thriving practices while maintaining their own well-being.