Stop Practicing Anxiety!

You know the feeling. That hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You feel shaky all over. Your heart pounds. And although you can feel the air going in and out of your body as your chest moves up and down, you wonder why it feels like you can’t breathe. The anxiety overtakes your mind and body as you stand in the situation that causes you stress. 

Perhaps it is an altercation with your lover. Your bank balance. Or a request from your boss to “see me in my office.” So many things can trigger an anxious reaction. And then, you start to “practice anxiety.” Your mind spins. Your muscles tense up. Cortisol levels rise. You seek out comfort food or can’t stand the thought of eating anything. We understand how difficult this can be. 

Whether you are seeing clients or are the client, it can be hard not to practice anxiety in this stressful and anxious world. There is so much pressure and so much to think about. Often, as you follow the rules of the world, you still don’t feel complete. Even the good job, nice house, new car, and lovely family leave you feeling empty. I know, I’ve been there, too. I understand the busyness and the overwhelm. You are already doing so many of the right things!

Turning to Distractors

To try to fill the emptiness, you may turn to what I call “distractors,” just like I did. You may overeat or eat specific (unhealthy) foods. Maybe drinking, drugs, or partying is your distractor. Working long hours creates a great distraction, with a few side benefits, too. Shopping is undoubtedly a distractor, with online shopping making it even easier to turn to anywhere and anytime. Smoking works amazingly well for a few moments as you focus on your breathing. 

As you shift your focus from the anxiety to a distractor, things seem to calm down for a short time. The cycle continues, though. It’s hard to stay immersed in a distractor because the anxiety inevitably pops back up. And anxiety becomes a pattern, a regular pattern in your life. You may hate the feeling, but you expect it. So, it becomes sort of comfortable because you believe it is the “right” response to the situation. 

You Can Free Yourself from Anxious Patterns

It may sound impossible right now, but you can have victory over these anxious patterns, even if you have held them closely for your entire life. The patterns can be broken and you can make a difference — even if you unconsciously believe that your anxiety is warranted and somehow the correct response to these difficult situations!

The first and easiest thing you can do for some instant relief is to learn more about the brain. For example, let’s talk about negativity bias for a second. It’s the reason we can forget 100 compliments to focus on the 1 negative comment, be able to recall bad memories easier than happy ones, and imagine worst case scenarios for everything. Experts believe this is an evolutionary trait that we needed for survival when life or death depended on remembering which berries were poisonous or that those wild animals will eat me. In those situations fear and weariness is a very important motivator for staying alive.

But in our current age, most of us have basic food and shelter away from dangerous animals and environments, and we’re more focused on our jobs being unfulfilling, unrealistic social media standards, family issues, money, dating, self-esteem, grocery lists, meetings… the list can go on forever! Negativity bias can greatly influence our self-talk (which we’ll talk about next week), and how we assume others’ will respond to us. So next time you catch yourself ruminating about something stressful, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is a natural response from your brain to try and protect you.

This is just one of the first steps though. You’re probably already thinking, “Okay, I guess that makes me feel a little better to know it’s normal to focus on the negative, but that doesn’t actually fix anything I’m dealing with.” Your body and mind are already accepting the changes you want to make for yourself, and just need a little more help. You will need to learn to quiet your nervous system and calm your mind more. Using self-hypnosis techniques, you can open your mind for greater calm, and to solve problems more efficiently. Answers come faster. The “best-case scenario” becomes the first reaction. No more having to constantly prepare for the “worst-case scenario” all the time. You can find the peace and freedom from your anxious thoughts you so desire! 

In this podcast interview with Henny Flynn (found below), we discuss when I was my most anxious (even with the job, car, and family) and how I was able to make the biggest pivot of my life. I explain why negative thoughts happen so easily, and that hypnosis is based on biological processes of the brain, so you can reprogram your subconscious mind to focus on healthier habits; ultimately cultivating a mindset that supports your achievements and goals in every area of your life.

This is part 1 of a 4 part blog series featuring this interview with Henny, because there is so much amazing information that deserves a deeper exploration. Next week’s blog post will be about how self-talk ruins our relationships.

Podcast originally posted to hennyflynn.co.uk