By Erika Flint, BA, MCPHI, BCH, OB

Originally published in the Journal of Hypnotism

What lights you up? What do you love to do more than anything else in the world? 

My father can talk about cars, MG’s specifically, for hours. 

My mother, she can speak of her grandkids and quilting; and times growing up with her siblings when she was a little girl. 

“What do you love to do?” is a favorite question you can ask folks you’re meeting for the first time. This is instead of the “What do you do?” question, because it gives people the opportunity to tell you what they’re passionate about. Being in the presence of someone speaking about or referencing something they love is a great honor and it creates true intimacy between all participants. You can see another human come alive. These moments are pure heaven – cherish them. 

When I’m working with clients, I’m looking for this light – this spark, the life force energy that helps them come alive. Helping your clients find their spark, their own inner light, is what helps them transform and continue to grow long after working with you. 

I learned this truth from my clients. You likely have plenty of similar stories in your own practice; clients losing weight, and falling in love with making pottery again. The rekindled love of pottery came about through a natural process of hypnosis and recalling particular experiences from her past. 

I asked my client Janet a simple question, “If you’re not eating chips, what are you doing?” 

The intention of this question is to help the client consider what other, enjoyable activity could possibly take the place of what she’s doing (eating) now? 

Her response was easy in hypnosis. She immediately told me of the years in her life she spent all her extra time in the garage making pottery. It was one of the happiest times in her entire life. I knew it was the “light” I was looking for because of the way she was talking about it. She was “lit” up! 

However, the answers to this question don’t always come easy. This can be an indicator of work to do in this area. If a client doesn’t know what to do instead of eating chips, she likely will keep eating chips. Spend more time here with your client if this is the case so she knows what to do after work to displace any habits keeping her perceived problem in place. 

The next week Janet returned with a beaming smile from ear to ear. She bought a space heater and cleaned out one corner of her garage! She started doing pottery again. 

As our sessions progressed, she spent more and more time doing what she loved. She was in her garage at the potter’s wheel. 

Interestingly – but not surprisingly, our conversations in hypnosis changed from food and frustration, to experiences throughout the week that reminded her how magical life is. She reached out to her sister and they spent the holidays together after years apart. She enjoyed her work again, and found happiness throughout her day in the little things. 

First give your clients what they want, then give them what they need. 

This statement means to address your client’s primary concerns, their presenting issue, first. Janet and I focused on her desired outcomes for weight loss. That she didn’t want to think about food all the time, lose 30 pounds, and she wanted to like how she looked. 

Nothing about her outcomes said she wanted to pick up her love of pottery again, and I had no clue about her past love of pottery either. 

What I’m looking for when working with clients, is what does light them up? What creates a magical quality in their voice? What makes their eyes light up? What seems to get them happy and excited? I want to continue focusing my client’s attention on the things that light them up because it brings them life. 

The mind functions such that whatever we focus on grows. Help your clients focus on the things that help them come alive while you’re helping them do what they came in for. The combination of the two will help your client be successful for the long-term. 

Janet lost 35 pounds, and continued making pottery. She lost the weight, and has something in her life she loves to do. 

What lights you up? Is it doing great hypnosis all day with clients? For me it’s that, helping hypnotists get even better results with clients, and music and dancing. Send me an email with what lights you up to erika@cascadehypnosiscenter.com.